The waiting
Since Noah's broken femur it seems we've just seen issue after issue arise. His neck is always tight and he has been prescribed diazapam for pain. His hip is completely out of socket bow making his pan levels high and sadly the only choice I see for him now is surgery. It is so scary since I have to compromise yet another time and subject him to go under,this time more than four hours. My biggest fear being of course his body is not strong enough to make it through surgery and more than that heal and get better quickly. No one can calm my next crazy as it seems I am in one endless panic attack until this happens. I lay awake and find myself pleading with the fear to just give him more time in this world. I hate the fact he has been under so much and just when I think It's over a bigger surgery is around the corner. I absolutely hate this disorder. I hate every part of it. From day one worrying about what the future will hold and now today worrying about how much he has